A BLIP

so many highs and lows

Cleaning, preparing for our open house, running after two tiny people who seem to be undoing everything you do. It is crazy making, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. That was just this last week. We were escaping north for a long weekend so that we wouldn't have to keep cleaning and straightening.

Oh all of the posts I have written in my head while lying in bed trying to fall asleep. Trying to figure out how I feel and how much to share. It all really started 2 weeks ago when we had a meeting with (who we thought would be) our contractor. Our house that we had spent all this time designing was going to be too much to build. What a bombshell, how did we get here and where do we go from here.

We walked away from that meeting and had sometime to think, the contractor was supposed to get back to us with more solid numbers. We knew nothing was going to change but it gave us time to think, for better or for worse.

And that was when my panic set in. If we can't build this house where will we live, we already have a road! What about a familiar yoga studio, good lady friends! (oh, right most of them seem to be packing their bags too), coffee shops, acquaintances at the grocery store, the pulse of a city, what am I thinking? I have never lived anywhere with less then 150,000 people. Strange things happen when life presents you with an opportunity to second guess yourself, I had to explore it. As it turned out it was painful exercise, but one that felt really necessary.

Change can be scary, even when all the old familiar are not working anymore it can still be hard to let them go.

Now on the other side, I am feeling reinvigorated - with new bids and spring on the horizon we are all feeling more hopeful.

the photograph above is an everyday snap shot of our place not the super clean one